*** Christian Fellowship Of Denver E-Connection *** (an unofficial Newsletter kind of thing) Thirty-fourth **************************************************************** * * * We have a web page! Thanks to the hard work and * * dedication of Mr. Gary Bogart, back issues of the * * CFD Newsletter can now be accessed on the Web at: * * * * http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/cfd/cfd-home.html * * * **************************************************************** Where did the week go? Theoretically, I know that time is supposed to slow down as gravity approaches infinity. The way I see it, with the amount of subcutaneous fat reserves I'm carrying around, time should be moving A LOT more slowly. Okay, I realize the fallacy of equating Gravity with Mass, but since I wasn't raised Catholic, I've never really understood Mass anyway, though I believe Mass should always be undertaken with an appropriate sense of gravity. So, where did my week go? Too busy, you say. Probably. Doing many many good things for God, for me, for society. Did I take time to be quiet, you ask? If you mean, did I stop thinking long enough to go to sleep at night, the answer is a resounding yes, that is, once the rampaging onslaught of rug rats were herded into their sleeping chambers. If you mean, did I take time to be quiet in the Presence of The Almighty God, the answer is a pathetic no. Why pathetic? Picture if you will, a man sitting on the floor at the King's banquet, staring down at his gaunt, bony hands, frantically weaving a little tapestry, with an incredible cornucopia of food laid out in magnificent array, just out of sight on the table above. He sits, hungry, too busy -- he thinks -- to take the time to stand and eat. If he waits too long, he won't have the strength to stand. If the dogs attack, he won't have the strength to fight. Sometimes, when the pain is too much, he reaches a hand up on the table and grabs a morsel, but his attention is quickly drawn back to the tapestry, and he forgets about nourishment. After all, the tapestry work was given to him by the King. We have started a ministry to HIV infected and affected people at our church. I have been dragged into it kicking and screaming, or so it feels, and yet I have no doubt this is where the Lord would have me. I am not profoundly disturbed by the lifestyle, or the fear of infection, but the fear of getting close to someone who is going to die. It is forcing me to confront some very sore spots in my emotional core, and as I keep my feet to the flame, God is slowly using it to heal some very deep hurts. But the process is extremely unpleasant. So I sit in the car before and after a meeting or social event, shaking my head, saying things like, "I don't belong here. This is wrong. I don't know how much more of this I can take." And finally I reach the end of myself. At that moment, the Lord steps in and holds me up. Where there was emotional distress, there is peace. We scream, "Lord! I can't do it anymore!" and God says, "Good. Now I can help you." And I can sense a strength that wasn't there before. So, where did my "weak" go? I reached the end of myself and God was there. He's always there. Never far. In 2 Cor. 12:9-10, it says, "But (God) said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." There are many ways to reach the end of yourself, most of them circumstantial. Brushes with death, unrequited love, loss of a job, severe illness; all of these and more bring us up short and remind us what's important, and how transitory life can be. And at the end of ourselves, we find God waiting for us there. But there are a few non-circumstantial ways to reach the end of yourself, far less traumatic, and more importantly, reproducible. Spending time listening and making petition to God is one. Meditating on the Word of God is another. Worshipping God is another. It is astonishing how quickly the importance of Self dwindles in the Presence of God. And the banquet is always available, always set before us, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We may have self-imposed obstacles between us and the table, but all we have to do is press in and we will be fed by the loving hands of the Triune God himself. And He will reveal His great love for us in ways we can't even imagine, and teach us all about what it really means to be His sons and daughters. It may be later than we think. We have heard the dogs gathering, just beyond the shadows cast by the light at the banquet. The Lord never promised us peace on this earth. If the battle is joined in our lifetime, and we faint at the sight of footmen, how will we contend with riders on horseback? It is time to trim our own lamps and make ample room in our hearts for the Bridegroom, and all that He has purposed in His heart to do. The Father bids us come. Onward, David Hodel, defacto editor in chief ------------------------------------------------- file: /pub/resources/text/cfd/cfd96: cfd-9634.txt .